How to write a eulogy for your grandfather
A long life, told by someone who only saw the last part of it.
The short answer
- How long:
- A eulogy for your grandfather usually runs three to five minutes spoken, which is about 500 to 800 words.
- Structure:
- Open by saying who you were to them, carry the middle with two specific stories, and close on one line you can say and then stop.
- The one thing:
- Specific beats comprehensive. One story told properly does more than a list of virtues, every time.
- If you cannot finish it:
- Asking someone else to read it for you is common and entirely acceptable. Tell the funeral director beforehand.
Free to start. No account needed. Your draft saves as you type.
What makes this one hard
You knew him as a grandfather, which means you met him after the hard years were over. The room will contain people who knew him as a young man, a husband, a colleague. The eulogy has to hold both without pretending you witnessed all of it.
Questions worth answering first
Answer these on paper, badly, before you try to write anything that sounds like a eulogy.
- What did his house or his chair or his shed smell like?
- What did he let you do that your parents would not?
- What did he tell you about his own life, and how often did you have to ask twice?
- What has been said about him this week that you did not know?
The shape that works
- Gather specifics, not adjectives. Write down concrete details before you write a single sentence of the eulogy. One real moment is worth a paragraph of praise.
- Choose a tone and a length. Decide how it should sound and how long you can speak for. Four to six minutes, around 500 to 800 words, suits most services.
- Shape it into three parts. An opening that says who you are to them, a middle carrying the stories, and a closing line you can say out loud and then stop.
- Read it aloud and cut. Read it standing up. Anything you stumble over, cut. Print it in large type, or use a reader that scrolls at your pace.
Questions people ask
How do I cover ninety years in five minutes?
You do not. Pick one decade you know something real about and one detail from each of the others. A chronology of a long life is the least memorable thing you can read out.
Should I speak for the whole family?
Say whose words they are. "I have been asked to speak for all the grandchildren" is honest and lets you use the plural without claiming feelings that are not yours.