How to write a eulogy for your mother

The eulogy people expect you to give, and the one you are least able to write.

The short answer

How long:: A eulogy for your mother usually runs three to five minutes spoken, which is about 500 to 800 words.
Structure:: Open by saying who you were to them, carry the middle with two specific stories, and close on one line you can say and then stop.
The one thing:: Specific beats comprehensive. One story told properly does more than a list of virtues, every time.
If you cannot finish it:: Asking someone else to read it for you is common and entirely acceptable. Tell the funeral director beforehand.

Free to start. No account needed. Your draft saves as you type.

What makes this one hard

Everyone in the room has an opinion about who your mother was, and most of them are wrong in small ways. The eulogy that works is not the complete account - it is the one that sounds like her when you say it out loud.

Questions worth answering first

Answer these on paper, badly, before you try to write anything that sounds like a eulogy.

What did she do when you were ill, or frightened, or in trouble?
What was she like before she was your mother - at work, with her friends, at twenty?
What did she say so often that you can still hear the exact tone of it?
What did she do that drove you mad, and that you would give anything to sit through again?

The shape that works

Gather specifics, not adjectives. Write down concrete details before you write a single sentence of the eulogy. One real moment is worth a paragraph of praise.
Choose a tone and a length. Decide how it should sound and how long you can speak for. Four to six minutes, around 500 to 800 words, suits most services.
Shape it into three parts. An opening that says who you are to them, a middle carrying the stories, and a closing line you can say out loud and then stop.
Read it aloud and cut. Read it standing up. Anything you stumble over, cut. Print it in large type, or use a reader that scrolls at your pace.

Questions people ask

Should I mention that our relationship was difficult?

You can, but a eulogy is not the place to settle it. One honest sentence - "we did not always find each other easy" - carries more than a paragraph of either grievance or pretence, and the people who need to hear it will hear it.

How long should a eulogy for a mother be?

Four to six minutes, or roughly 500 to 800 words. Long enough for two real stories, short enough that you can finish it.